The first time I realized that I didn't make friends easily was in sixth grade when I switched over to a completely different county than my elementary school friends. I walked into school without a single person to talk to. Over time, I befriended a few girls. But none of them compared to my best friend, let's call her Courtney. I thought I would be friends with Courtney for the rest of my life. I imagined us going through middle school, high, and college together. But as close as I wanted us to be, I knew we could never reach that level of friendship because, even though she was my very best friend, I wasn't hers. She never failed to remind me that I was her "best friend at school" and that another girl, Dakota, was her real best friend. Whenever she would say that, I would pretend that I was still friends with my ex best friend, Angie, who I hadn't even talked to since elementary school.
I haven't spoken to or even seen Courtney since eighth grade. And over the those three awkward middle school years we went from best friends to master shade throwers to "I'm genuinely over it" to cordial acquaintances to almost friends to what we are now--nothing; just parts of each others' pasts that don't matter now and will be a distant memory in 20 years. Even though my relationship with Courtney didn't stick, the rejection she gave me did. It manifested in my struggle with being close, but not close enough with people. I'll be afraid to admit, even just to myself, how close I feel I am to a friend because I worry that they won't see me in the same light. But when I find myself in that mindset I remind myself that you don't have to be someone's "best friend" to be an important part of their life. And they don't have to be yours either. One of the most valuable parts of life is the experience of making friends. And even if you're an introvert or generally reserved with strangers (like me), it feels really amazing to have a strong bond with someone, a friend, who understands you. If we worry too much about being someone's best friend or them being ours, we might miss out on the beautiful friendship that could have been. We get different things from different relationships. You might bring your problems to one person and your funny stories to another. And I think that's okay. You can't expect to be everything for everyone. If you have a friend who constantly remind you that you are not as important as other people in their lives, especially if their comments make you feel insignificant or unimportant as a person, they might not be your real friend.
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I have started this introduction about six times now.
As I write this, my hands shake and my blood boils. Today I watched a social experiment by Joey Salads called "Sexy vs Breastfeeding in Public (Social Experiment)." The video features two women. One is dressed in shorts and a top that exposes her cleavage and the other is acting as a breastfeeding mother. The women take turns sitting on a bench in a mall. The "sexy" woman, as pone could expect, receives attention from several passersby, but no one says anything to her except for one guy. The man comes up to her, introduces himself, and, while showing his body in between her and the side of the bench, asks if he can sit with her. He makes a pass at her. "You can follow me on Instagram," he says. The screen cuts to the breastfeeding women having her turn on the bench. A man passes her. He does a double take and says, "Seriously ma'am? You have to do that here? That's disgusting." Two young women say to her in passing: "That's so disgusting." Finally, a pregnant women asks if she can sit with the mother. They have a conversation, talking about their pregnancies, breastfeeding experiences, and what to expect in motherhood. The final scene of the experiment shows the women sitting side by side on a bench on a sidewalk. A man passes by and expresses his disgust. "I don't appreciate your tit being out like that," he says. Joey Salads, who is standing behind the women asks him why he feels this way. He points to the woman with the low-cut shirt, "Her boobs are out too," Salads says. The man replies, "That's different. That's just how her shirt is. It's not gross." They deliberately stopped what they were doing in order to inform this woman that her actions were "disgusting" and that nursing in public is unacceptable. These peoples' comments left me breathless and physically sick. I can barely think straight right now because the reactions of the people in this video are so disgusting. Joey Salads has received criticism accusing him of staging this social experiment, and if these allegations are true, he has obviously lost some of his credibility as a video journalist. But, regardless of the authenticity--or lack thereof--of this social experiment or any others conducted by Salads, his argument remains valid: breastfeeding should not be a controversial topic. It should not be something that seems out of the ordinary or inappropriate in public spaces. Anywhere infants are allowed, nursing should be as well. Not only should it be allowed, but it should accepted, encouraged, and normalized. Sources: https://youtu.be/sOEHRsRIodI For the past week, Women's March has been under fire due to its decision to vocalize disagreement in the recent abolition of Backpage, a site accused of soliciting the sex trafficking of women and girls. Established in 2004, Backpage was the second largest online commerce site in the U.S (behind Craigslist). People visited the site to explore "products and services including automotive, jobs listings, and real estate" (Wikipedia). I am Jane Doe, a Mary Mazzio documentary released in February, threw the site into frenzy. It has garnered an incredible amount of public attention and criticism. The film followed the legal journeys of several mothers of girls who were abducted and traded on Backpage. These families seek justice for their daughters and punishment for those involved in the sex trafficking ring. When I heard about Women's March's response to Backpage being shut down, I was absolutely disgusted. How could they support this website through which humans could be bought, sold, and traded? I decided to check it out for myself. I went to Women's March's Twitter page and this is what I found: The shutting down of #Backpage is an absolute crisis for sex workers who rely on the site to safely get in touch with clients. Sex workers rights are women's rights." Women's March, choosing to ignore the sex trafficking that occurred under Backpage and instead focus of the business of sex workers is absolutely disgusting. As an organization that is supposed to be for women Women's March should not invalidate the traumatic experiences that the young women sold on the site endured.
I might not know the whole story, but I know enough. Even if the majority of the activities classified under "adult entertainment" included legal "sex work," even one person being trafficked should be enough for Backpage (or any other website) to face legal punishment. Also, though it might be legal, sex work is not right. It is not dignifying. It is not something women should be encouraged to engage in. And I understand that there are women who choose to participate in this line of work and that they should be as safe as any other worker. I respect Women's March for wanting to protect these women who, like any minority, are commonly overlooked. However, as an organization vested in the advancement of women, practices like prostitution (legal or otherwise) should never be encouraged. Every individual woman can do whatever she pleases with her body, but if we want to be respected and valued, ALL women need to understand that they are more than their body or what their body has to offer. See below for a slideshow exhibiting tweets regarding Women's March comments about Backpage and sex work as well as tweets from both supporters and dissenters of the organization's stance. |
Hi!My name is Michayla. I serve as a reporter for my school newspaper, The Chant. You should check it out :) Archives
May 2018
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